


So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way

by Fullmetal450



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Body Image, Brief References to/Mentions of, Bullying, Cancer, Child Abuse, Child Death, Child disease, Children left behind, Depression, Disease, Eating Disorder, Gen, Gender Issues, M/M, Nightmares, Physical Abuse, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality Issues, original character death, terminal illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 19:06:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3300380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fullmetal450/pseuds/Fullmetal450
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one ever told him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way

**Author's Note:**

> Despite the fun name and reference to Friends, this is somewhat of a dark fic, so read with full discretion.

No one ever told him how draining it would be.

No one ever told him how many times he would wake up from someone else’s nightmare. How he could feel fear from them, about anything, from purple dinosaurs to strange hands that were not at all kind.

No one told him how many times he would lose sleep over upset tummies and sore throats and vomit covered floors. How often he’d sit in a hospital waiting room, either waiting for tests, or pushed to the side because the parents were there, and he wasn’t necessary. How often he would have to lose children to accidents, and genetics, and no one could say they are the better race, not really, because they can still have problems with white blood cells and bone cells and bone marrow and so many things that no one should have.

No one ever told him how much he would hate himself for not getting some of them treatment sooner.

No one ever let him forget how much pain the world could bring to children, to people, but he was not prepared for how much damage they could do to themselves, and with the most innocuous of objects. But he cannot give up on them, and he cannot make them stop, so he checks on them every day, quietly, and makes bandages available everywhere, and he makes sure to only close his door to show when he’s not there, and he never locks it.

No one had to tell him what body image was like, especially considering his sister. But it was still horrible, and it still saddened him to see any of his beautiful boys and girls cry themselves to sleep or starve themselves or purge themselves or do anything else they could to fit what they thought would make them beautiful.

No one had to tell him how much it would hurt when they would smile and nod and never believe him.

No one ever told him how many times he’d have to make sure someone knew they were still loved, especially since now they knew themselves and how they weren’t heteronormative in their romantic and sexual attraction.

No one ever told him that when you put them together, when you let them be social, teenagers were soft and too loose with their emotions.

No one told him he’d have to hold people all year long and coo softly and whisper in their ears that true love came eventually, and that true love would be worth all of their current pain.

No one ever told him that his own true love would so happily leave him again and again.

No one had to tell him that mutants could be cruel, too. That they could bully and do all the things that they despised humans for. That they could scream profanities that would cause tears and heartbreak and pain.

No one ever told him about how hard it would be when companies either refused to have them as patrons, or only did so for the chance to test on them.

No one ever told him about how many children he would have to let go to parents who simply wanted to force them to be normal. His heart especially broke a little bit when he had to go see a child, have them look at him with hope and excitement, and then watch that hope die when he was kicked out or simply rejected, hear that child’s thoughts as they watched the taxi leave and their chances go with him.

No one ever told him about how many tombstones he would have in his yard someday. About how many times he would have to watch something be lowered into the ground--a coffin, an urn, an empty box, symbolic trinkets, flags of different nations.

No one ever told him how hard it actually was to hear last words. No one ever told him about how small people looked when they were no longer alive.

No one ever told him about how hard it was to stop trying CPR. About how many times Logan would have to pull him away and--

No one ever mentioned how many times he would have to give speeches on mourning and remembrance when all he wanted to do was lay in bed and cry.

No one told him about how good he’d get at hiding red rimmed eyes.

No one ever told him about how sometimes it all hit you at once. How it never got any easier.

No one ever told him how much paperwork and how many court meetings went into being a foster parent and adoptive parent and child caretaker and fighter for the rights of the children he could save.

No one told him how many therapists they would go through before every child found their way to their own personally chosen listener.

No one told him how many times he would hear ‘I hate you’ and die a little inside at it.

No one told him how many people he would disappoint. Children and adults alike.

No one told him he would ever be seen as the bad guy. No one told him how hard it was to be an adult.

No one told him how separated he would be from everyone around him.

No one ever told him how hard it would be to sleep some nights.

No one told him he would ever be this lonely.


End file.
